A Very Merry Normandy Christmas
by irishninja0
Summary: Hello fellow ME fans. And yes I know it's not Christmas time but shut up, it's a good story so suck it up and deal with it. Shepard is excited to celebrate his first Christmas with his crew. He plans on making it the best Christmas every, especially for his friends. However as things start to go both right and wrong, will he lose it? Friendship for all except the TalixShepard.
1. Day 1: Assignments

**Well guys this is my first Mass Effect fiction, I hope you enjoy it and don't rip off my limbs. And yes I know it's not Christmas time but shut up, it's a good story so suck it up and deal with it. This is A Very Merry Normandy Christmas. Also little information on this Shepard,**

**Sole Survivor**

**Soldier**

**Male, romanced Tali, completed all the loyalty missions, takes place after suicide mission, romanced Ashley in the first game, let the council die so that others could be saved, and he is not completely paragon, but he is more paragon than renegade.**

Shepard groaned as he fell backwards on his mattress. He just got back from helping Garrus with his calibrations, wrestling with Grunt, and helping Tali with some of her own "calibrations" and it was only 1:00 pm! He didn't even know what the date was. He activated his Omni tool and looked down with a deadpan expression at the tool. When Shepard saw the date his face immediately brightened and he jumped for joy. He couldn't believe that it was almost time. He had to inform the crew, maybe they'll participate this time, if they even knew what it was. "Edi, tell the entire crew to meet in the Cargo bay immediately, I have an important announcement to make."

"As you wish, Shepard." Shepard took off to the elevator, with a skip in his step and a smile on his face; he just couldn't wait to break the news.

* * *

Tali opened the doors to the cargo bay, walking through the crowd to the front where Shepard was preparing a small stool for him to stand on. "Shepard, what is this about? Did something happen?" She asked in a concerned tone. However when he turned his head, she saw it was an expression of pure joy on his face. "No Tali, something wonderful is going to happen." He leaned up and kissed her visor, making her blush deep red as he jumped on to the stool.

"Attention crew! I have something important to tell you!" He shouted. Everyone turned to him, confused and wondering what the Commander wanted with them. "Now everyone I know you are all probably wondering why I have called all of you down here."

"If this is an intervention for your dancing skills, you're a little late to deal with that problem." Garrus joked. The crew laughed at Garrus' teasing. Shepard glared at him but laughed along with them anyway. "No but we do need a group therapy session for those affected by that ugly mug of yours." The crew laughed even harder at that as Shepard held up a hand to silence the crowd. "Well I don't know if any of you have checked todays date, but it's December 1st. All my human crew members what that means! It's Christmas!" The crowd cheered as the non-human personal scratched their heads in confusion. "Now I know we can't all go home to celebrate the holidays. But you're good and glorious leader has got us a month long shore leave at the Citadel for us to relax, unwind, and celebrate the holiday!" Shepard could hear the crowd whooping and cheering, shouting "Shepard! Shepard!"

"Everyone hold your selves together, there is more to it." The crew managed to calm themselves down to hear the rest of it. "Now there is going to be a secret Santa program that we will be doing. You are free to buy as many gifts as you want for your fellow crew mates, but the secret Santa thing is to help spread Christmas cheer to everyone on board! Everyone who buys a gift that isn't part of the secret Santa project must put it under the Christmas tree, which I will have set up here in the Cargo hold." Donnelly let out a cry of joy as the rest of the on board humans rooted for their Commander. "Alright everyone you are all dismissed, that is except for my specialists, I have further things to discuss with you." Everyone started to leave as Shepard stepped down from the platform.

Soon the Cargo Bay was empty, leaving only Shepard and his friends. "Shepard, would you mind telling us what this 'Christmas' is?" Samara asked politely. Shepard smiled and pulled up chairs for everyone to sit down in. "Well grab a seat everyone and I'll tell you what Christmas is, because it's one of the most cherished human traditions there is." Shepard explained everything there was to tell about Christmas, from Santa Claus to the presents, even some Christmas stories that he loved. The group was absolutely engrossed in Shepard's description of this holiday. He described it was such passion and love it's almost as if he dated Christmas. Shepard talked about what it was like on Earth during this time, telling them all about what he considered the best time of the entire year.

"Wow Shepard, this sounds absolutely amazing!" Tali squealed with delight.

"I got to hand it to you humans; this does sound like a really appealing holiday. We could use some R&R." Garrus said, leaning back on chair.

"Hmm, human holiday never before experienced by Salarians, should prove interesting experience." Mordin commented.

"Well I'm glad you all feel that way because I have special assignments for all of you." Shepard stood up, all eyes on him. "I'm going to need help coordinating this Christmas for the crew, so I'm going to need all your help. First, Miranda, you coordinate the preparations and planning for the party and making sure everything goes smoothly."

"Yes Commander." Miranda said in a calm voice.

"Garrus, Grunt, and Zaeed, you three are going to do the heavy lifting that will require you to move all the presents, lift up the tree, and making sure not even a branch falls off of it, make sure the presents are accounted for and please don't get crushed under it."

"Don't worry Shepard, we can handle this. Or at least I can." Garrus said playfully.

Shepard smiled and then looked toward Legion. "Legion I'm counting on you to find the best Christmas movies for us to watch and enjoy. Oh and feel free to find some Earth classics like Nightmare before Christmas, The Grinch, and whatever else you can find."

"Objective understood, Shepard Commander." Legion said in his monotone voice.

"Mordin and Jacob, you will ensure that we get appropriate food and provisions for the Christmas party, which might include a lot of alcohol and eggnog. Oh and don't forget my absolute favorite food of all, Pizza."

"Don't worry Commander, we got this." Jacob said, saluting him in his seat.

"Jack and Thane, you two can handle setting up the music and overall party itself. Jack will plan what music will play, making the party itself just plain badass. Thane you can go gets the stuff she needs for the party."

"Looks like we get the fun job Thane." Jack smirked, propping herself up against a stack of crates.

"Tali, Kasumi, and Kelly will handle the decorations that will go cover the entire interior of the ship, just make it all christmasy." Shepard told the three.

"Yay! Don't worry Shepard; we'll make the Normandy scream Christmas!" Kasumi said with glee.

"This is great; I'm counting on all of you to make this work. You are also free to buy gifts for each other and participate in the Secret Santa. I will send each of you who you are to give your presents to on your Omni tools or in written form if you don't have one. Now you may all return to what you were doing and get to work on making this the best Christmas ever." Shepard said with the biggest smile on his face. The crew got into their groups and left, discussing how they were going to handle their jobs. Tali however stayed behind and walked up to Shepard.

"Shepard, this Christmas thing, it sounds so amazing and wonderful! Oh I just can't wait to celebrate my first Christmas." She joyfully hugged her boyfriend, him laughing and hugging her back.

"I'm excited too Tali, Christmas has always been my favorite holiday, now I get to celebrate it with you." He smiled and kissed her visor, her blushing a deep crimson red under her helmet. "And I can't wait to give you your Christmas gift." Shepard winked and playfully smacked his girlfriend's butt. She let out a yelp and smirked at him. "If you're insinuating what I think you mean, than I think I'll love my gift." She hugged his arm and looked up at him. "I'll even make it extra special for you my commander, just for Christmas." Tali leaned up on her toes and pressed her helmet against his lips, the equivalent of a kiss.

"Well I was just playing when I did that, I actually plan on getting you an actual gift this Christmas, one I know you'll love." He smiled and held her hand in his. "Now come on, we got some preparations to make." Shepard led Tali out of the Cargo hold and into the elevator, heading up to the CIC to help with preparations for Christmas.

**Well guys there is chapter 1, I hope you enjoyed it, provide some feedback please and I wish you all a very early Christmas.**


	2. Day 2: Meeting Santa

Shepard quietly snuck out of his room, making sure to pull the covers over Tali's sleeping body, than quietly sneak out while everyone was asleep. There was something he didn't tell the crew when he made that announcement. Santa was going to be visiting and his name was Shepard. The Commander just couldn't wait to dress up like Chris Kringle and put a smile on everyone's faces. First he had to go grab his outfit, which he hid in the air lock. He tiptoed into the airlock, removed the floor panel to the bottom right, and removed the Santa suit underneath. It had come with a beard and everything, including make up for the rosy cheeks. He put the suit on, applied the makeup, making sure everything was perfect. Shepard smiled, "Ho Ho Ho." He practiced, making sure he got his impression down. Once he knew he had it perfect, he exited the air lock. 'Hmm I better find a mirror, check and see if it's convincing." Shepard walked out of the airlock and into the elevator, pressed the button for deck 3 and headed down.

Garrus tugged on the bolt that just would not come loose on the cannon. He couldn't sleep and needed something to keep himself occupied. Unfortunately Gardner had put a heavily encrypted lock on the fridge, so it wasn't like he could get a warm glass of milk. Garrus took hold of the stubborn bolt and pulled with his entire body. However that attempt also failed. He quickly gave up and put the wrench down. "Maybe I can get Grunt to help me tomorrow." He soon got up exited the cannon room.

Shepard stepped out of the elevator and immediately headed to the bathroom. He checked out his costume in the mirror. 'Not too shabby if I do say so myself.' He thought with a smirk on his face. 'I look exactly like the real deal, I'm just glad I ordered the deluxe outfit.' Shepard stretched and left the bathroom. 'Hmm it couldn't hurt to have a midnight snack while I'm here.' Shepard turned into the crew deck and headed toward Gardner's fridge. He held up his Omni Tool and easily broke the encryption. 'And here Gardner thought he could keep me out of his food stock.' The Commander grabbed a slice of leftover pizza and a bottle of water, and then gingerly closed the fridge door. He sat down at the table between the two walls and ate his meal, carefully so he didn't get any on his costume.

Once he finished the meal he disposed of the waste. He smiled, and then started to head for the elevator. That's when he heard the elevator door open, "Shepard? Shepard are you in here?" He heard his lover ask. He quickly ducked and hid in the trench leading to the Thanix Cannons. Tali called out once again, "Shepard are you here?" She looked around for him but couldn't seem to find it.

"Huh, I could've sworn he would have been down here." She sat down in the chair and saw the door on the other side of the room open. "Oh hi Garrus!" She waved cheerfully. "Oh hey Tali." Garrus said with a smile. "What brings you down here?"

"Well I had a bit of a nightmare, so I woke up and I saw Shepard wasn't next to me in the bed. I thought it was weird so I came looking for him."

"Let me guess, you made him use those pink hand cuffs again?" Garrus joked. "YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH!" Tali shouted, punching him in the arm. Garrus just kept laughing at her pitiful attempts to hurt him.

Tali laughed too and stopped punching him. Shepard looked over the trench and glared at Garrus. 'You son of a bitch.' He nearly growled. I mean he was just about to make a grand escape, Tali not noticing, then Garrus decided to show up and pretty much starts up a conversation! Damn it all, Damn it Garrus, Damn it Tali. "Hey Garrus do you want something to eat?" Tali asked her friend. "I don't see how, Gardner encrypted the fridge."

Tali scoffed at him and got up. "Just watch." She got up from the table and used her Omni tool on the refrigerator, two seconds later it opened up with a nice click. Garrus' jaw dropped. "But how did you….?"

"You really think Gardner was clever enough to encrypt the refrigerator with some strong encryption? It's just his name with a 123 at the end." Garrus chuckled. "Gee what a clever guy. Now would you mind getting me a warm glass of milk?"

"Oh sure, low fat or whole milk?" Tali asked curiously. "Just get whichever one, I really don't care." Garrus placed his feet on the table and watched Tali get his milk for him.

Shepard cursed Garrus and all his future generations. Maybe if he made a bum rush to the elevator, he could make it to the elevator. 'Yeah that sounds like plan.' Just as Shepard was about to enact it, another person came out of the elevator.

"Good morning, Tali, Garrus." Mordin said with a pleasant smile. "Oh hey Mordin." Tali said, handing Garrus his milk. "Hey Doc," Garrus said while raising his glass to the doctor. "what brings you here?" He asked.

"Was going over some notes on Genophage and as Tali asked, sent her the brochure on interspecies mating." Mordin chuckled as Garrus nearly lost it, but Tali was seething. "I never told you to send that!" Tali said, while pointing her finger angrily at him, but still holding back a laugh. "Was only a joke, Miss Zorah, still have full respect for doctor/patient confidentiality. But that doesn't mean your relationship itself is a secret." He said with a smile as Tali pretended to pout.

"Am I missing something or am I allowed to join the party?" Everyone turned and saw Jack walking toward them. "You know you're always welcome Jack, but what brings you up here? I thought you were in engineering." Tali enquired. "I was, but I had a nightmare and decided to grab a bite to eat." She said as she walked to the fridge and stole an apple.

'You have got to be kidding me….' Shepard thought, putting his face into his palms. 'What is this a bad sitcom? Why are so many people deciding to come down when I do?' He nearly face palmed at his idiocy. How was he supposed to escape now? There had to be a way….

Samara yawned and walked out of the starboard observation deck, then noticed the crowd in the main part of the deck. "What are you all doing out here?" She asked.

"Can't sleep." They all said at the same time. Tali ate some of her paste and saw Legion coming out of the Med Bay. "Hi Legion!" She waved at him happily.

"Greetings, creator Tali." He said then turned to Garrus. "Garrus, this platform has translated and saved those recordings you asked of." Garrus blushed and put his hands over Legions face. "Oh nothing about that right now, we can talk about that later." He said nervously. "But Garrus, it's those recordings with Tali a-". Legion was smacked upside the head before he could finish. "I said later Legion."

Tali glared at Garrus then looked at Legion. "Legion, override Garrus' orders and play those recordings." She said with a nervous look on her face. "Affirmative, Creator Tali." Legion stood still as the recording began to play.

"Oh right there Commander! Keelah!" The recording said, the voice clearly Tali's. The voices kept playing; Tali's blush went darker and darker red. "Shepard!" The recording of Tali cried. Garrus was blushing just as dark as Tali, wanting to escape from his current predicament. He just wanted to tease Tali and Shepard about it later, but that clearly wasn't going to happen now.

Shepard just listened as he heard the recording. He was also blushing, remembering that night. 'God now everyone is listening…that was Tali's kinky night too!' He thought to himself. 'Wait a second…' Shepard had an idea come to his head, suddenly now he wanted to kiss his Turian friend thank you and cheer. If he could pull this off, then he could get out without being caught. 'I just have to sneak past everyone while their listening to the recording. Thank you Garrus, I'll be sure to pay for your tab at purgatory for this.' Shepard quietly got out of the trench and shimmied past the med bay. He made sure to stay in the shadows so no one could see him. He crept closer and closer past the group. 'Yes I'm going to make it! I am the king, of everything, WHOO!' He gloated. As he was about to take the final steps, he tripped over the Santa pants he was wearing and fell with a loud thud. Suddenly all eyes were on him as he nervously looked at his crew mates. "Umm…." The Commander knew he had lost. He got up and brushed himself off. He sighed and looked at them, knowing they would never let him live this down.

"Santa?" Tali said clear joy in her voice. Shepard was taken aback by her statement. Then he realized, he never told them Santa wasn't real! To them, they think Santa really is real and standing before them. Oh thank god for his forgetfulness. "Well hello everybody!" Shepard said in his best Santa voice. Tali ran over and nearly tackled him in a hug. "SANTA!" The rest of the crew gathered around and hugged the Commander, all of them thinking he was the real deal. Shepard just wanted to groan at his crew's stupidity right now. Then again it was his fault, so he couldn't blame them. He was pretty convincing about Santa.

"Santa, I can't believe you're here!" Tali squealed. "But what are you doing here? It's not Christmas yet." Shepard's mind was racing for an excuse. "Well you see umm." Then he had it. "Well you see my dear Tali, I have never been on the Normandy before, so I decided to come on board and map it out so I can navigate it better on Christmas." He said, hoping he wouldn't burst out in laughter.

"Well that sounds reasonable, I guess it wouldn't hurt." Garrus said, chugging down some of his milk.

"Thank you Garrus, now I must be off, planning for Christmas and what not." Shepard said, wanting to quickly get out of there.

"Wait Santa! Since you're here, maybe we can sit on your lap and tell you what we want for Christmas, and give you our lists!" Tali said beaming. 'Damn it Tali….' Shepard thought to himself.

"That sounds like a good idea, someone go wake up Grunt so he can join in." Garrus said. Suddenly Shepard got the feeling he would have to visit Dr. Chakwas after this for a shattered pelvis. He couldn't just turn them all down though, what would they think of Santa? He couldn't just break their Christmas spirit like that. Shepard sighed and said "Yes bring that fellow here, you can all tell Santa what you would like for Christmas." He bellowed. Mordin pulled up a chair for him to sit in, and then they formed a line to take turns. First was Tali, sitting comfortably on his lap, her palms on her lap. "Well I umm….Santa it's amazing that you…I mean someone as powerful as you….and I'm babbling like an idiot." Tali sighed and took a deep breath. "Santa what I want is a," Tali thought for a moment then spoke again. "An X-34D engine component, the Nerve Stim pro Ultra edition, another copy of the Fleet and Flotilla movie, a Shepard plushy, Shepard VI, no I don't want the blue model, and I want the orange model because that's Shepard's favorite color." She rambled on and on about what she wanted, going over each detail. As much as the Commander loved Tali and her voice, he really wanted to get out of this suit, it was starting to get itchy and hot. "Oh dear Tali that is quite a lot, how about you give me your list and let Santa see what he can do."

"Thank you Santa!" She said and gave him a big hug. "Oh wait Shepard isn't here to see you! Santa could you do me a favor." Shepard gave a curious look to her and said "Of course my dear, what is it?" Tali sighed and looked up at him with those Luminescent eyes of hers, "Please give Shepard the best Christmas ever, it means a lot to him. And get him that model of the USS Roosevelt battle ship that he's been wanting. The rare model please." Shepard smiled happily and hugged her. "I'll be sure to do that Tali, Merry Christmas." Tali gave him one last hug and got off his lap. "I'm off to bed, night guys." She waved and left for the elevator. One by one everyone sat on his lap and told him what they wanted. Shepard hoped they would be easy and simple, but everyone wanted something strange and ones that made Shepard question his crew's mental health. Grunt came after Jack, jumping on Shepard's lap and sat up right. "I don't want much this Christmas Santa, but I want the Krogan shot gun known as the M-300 Claymore, I want it so badly but it's so hard to find in stores." Shepard was breaking under his weight. 'Good god Grunt cut back on all the food, JESUS CHRIST!' He shouted in his head. "Sure Grunt, anything for the Krogan." Shepard said with pain in his voice. "You are an honorable warrior Santa." Grunt got up and walked away back to the Cargo hold. After about 15 minutes everyone was done and headed back to their stations or beds. Shepard, when the coast was clear, collapsed to the ground in pain. Who knew the Turians had spikes on their asses too, barely noticeable but just enough to hurt his crotch. Shepard dragged himself to the elevator and took off the costume, neatly folding it. When he reached his cabin he washed the makeup off and put the costume in the hidden compartment in the bathroom, one he kept some of his stuff stored when he needed to. He undressed into just his boxers and walked out, collapsing on to his bed. Tali was already there, beaming with excitement. "Shepard you missed him! Santa was here! I got to tell him everything I wanted for Christmas!" She was so excited that she was practically jumping off the walls. "I was so nervous, I stumbled over my words, I was rambling and made a fool of myself. But I did get out what I wanted to say." Shepard groaned and pulled the covers over himself.

"That's great Tali, now please be quiet. I'm tired." He rolled over and closed his eyes. Tali wrapped her arms around him from behind and cuddled him. "Don't be so upset Shepard, I know this will be the best Christmas ever, whether you see Santa or not." Shepard smiled, flipping over and kissed the Quarian on her visor. "Thanks Tali." He smiled and held her in his arms, quickly falling asleep.


	3. Day 3: Decoration Acquirement

Tali raised her head up from the soft pillow. 'Let's see it's been about 3 days, so that means there's 22 days till Christmas day.' She thought to herself. She sat up and gazed down at Shepard's sleeping form. He was sleeping peacefully, although he was clutching his pelvis for some reason. She got up and hit the side of her helmet, turning off sleeping mode. "Time to get my day started." She said aloud. She looked once more at Shepard, and couldn't help but imagine that man in the shower. Tali blushed heavily from what her brain was imagining; maybe she should take up Kasumi on her offer to install a camera in Shepard's shower. That made her blush even harder and she proceeded to leave on the elevator. She pushed her slender finger against the button leading to the crew deck. As soon as the elevator doors opened, a great force slammed into Tali, pushing her up against the wall. "TALI! We have an emergency!" Kasumi said urgently. "Kasumi calm down! Please, and put me down." She said glaring at her friend. "Sorry, sorry." She said meekly.

"Kasumi what's wrong?"

"Well Kelly and I were going over the decorations we had, and it turns out we don't have any!"

"That doesn't seem so bad; we can just go get some from the Citadel stores."

"No Tali you don't understand, this is an earth holiday!"

"Yeah so?"

"Do you realize how hard it would be to find a place to buy Christmas decorations on the Citadel!?" At that Tali's face dropped and turned into one of horror.

"Oh Bosh 'tet! What are we going to do!? Wait," She said suddenly realizing something she should have realized before. "Why don't we just order some from Earth? I'm sure they have plenty there."

"Don't you think we tried that? They said it wouldn't make it until after Christmas!"

Tali felt like the whole world just collapsed in on itself. Shepard entrusted her with this one task and she blew it before even starting on it. She started growing nervous, sweat doing down her cheek and she was twirling her fingers. 'Okay this is no big deal; all we have to is remain calm and….oh keelah what are we going to do? Shepard's going to be so upset and I hate seeing him so sad.' Tali sighed and spoke to her friend again. "Kasumi see what we can do with what we have, I'll go down to the Citadel and see if I can find anything that resembles Christmas decorations." Kasumi nodded and disappeared. Tali headed up to CIC and walked to the air lock. "Joker I'm heading out, just tell Shepard I went to do a bit of shopping."

"Aye Aye, Ms. Vas Normandy." He said in a sarcastic tone. Tali rushed out of the airlock and into the crowded areas of the Citadel.

Tali pushed through the crowds, trying to reach the markets. She finally reached one labeled, Zakera's geek shop. 'Oh that's just perfect…' She groaned in her head. 'Well then again Shepard does call me his Adorable Geek, so maybe it's a compliment on Earth.' She beamed thinking of him. She walked inside and was amazed at all the gadgets and knick knacks on the wall. She reached for a shelf and got a snow globe with a miniature Shepard, holding an M8-Avenger inside. "I think I'll buy this for myself." She grabbed a crate by the handle that was sitting in a pile with other crates and put the snow globe inside. Tali walked over to the counter top and ringed the bell. Suddenly a human male, roughly taller than Tali was, smiled and greeted her. "Hello customer, what can I do for you?"

"Hi, I'm um looking for some Christmas decorations, you wouldn't happen to have some would you?"

"Hmm I'll have to check with my wife in the back." The human walked over to a door and opened it up. "Hey honey! Do we have any Christmas decorations!?"

"What!?"

"I said do we have any Christmas decorations!"

"Hang on let me come to you! I can't quite hear you." The male stepped back as an Asari came out and greeted her husband with a kiss. "What is it you said?"

"I was asking if we had any Christmas decorations in the back."

"I think we have a few, but not a whole lot. How much is needed."

"Let me ask. Excuse me! Miss? How much do you need?"

"I need enough to decorate the entire interior of a ship." The Asari and Human gave a sad look as the man leaned over the counter. "I'm sorry, but we don't have enough, we only have roughly enough to maybe fill an apartment."

Tali sighed and crossed her arms. What was she going to do? There wasn't nearly enough to decorate the entire ship. And a shipment of decorations wouldn't come till after Christmas, 'Keelah what will I have to do.' She thought to herself, clutching her helmet in her hands. She sighed and paid for the decorations they did have and bought a few extra trinkets. Then she walked out of the store and sat down at a food court. She ordered some steak paste and grumbled to herself. The citadel bustled about her, people bumping in to each other, rushing all over to get where they needed, only a few realizing the special occasion that was coming up. Tali slowly consumed the paste, wishing her intuition to kick in, if she had any. "Is this seat taken? Or are humans not allowed?" Tali looked up to the friendly face of Jacob Taylor. "Oh hey Jacob." She said, melancholy laced in her voice. "What are you doing here?"

"I was just picking up a gift for the secret Santa thing, don't tell anyone but mines Kelly." He said in a hushed tone. Tali just waved him off without even a chuckle, simply swallowing her paste. Jacob sat down in the chair across from her, a look of concern on his face. "Hey now what's the matter? Commander wouldn't put out?" He laughed as Tali weakly punched his arm. "No you Bosh' tet."

"I just can't seem to find any decorations for the ship, the most I found was a snow globe and enough to decorate Shepard's cabin." She sighed and finished the last of her paste. "Yeah, I would be upset too. But hey don't beat yourself up too much about it; I think Shepard's going to love you decorating his cabin anyway." He said with a smile. "It could be worse you know."

"How could it get worse?" She asked, barely paying attention.

"You could be decorating the ship for every alien holiday." He said with a laugh. But Tali wasn't laughing, instead her face lit up bright. Her mood cheered and it felt like the Ancestors were singing to her. "OH THANK YOU JACOB THANK YOU THANK YOU!" She hugged his head and squeezed tight. "Quick take this back to the Normandy and put them in my spot in engineering, I got work to do." She paid for the meal and ran off. Jacob just sat there with the most confused look on his face. "I don't know what's gotten into that girl, but I better hurry up and get that gift for Miranda, or she'll start lecturing me on how perfect she is and perfect timing and all that bull." He got up, grabbed Tali's stuff and walked to the nearest Adult toys store.

"Garrus is the coast clear?" Shepard asked in a hushed tone, hiding behind several bushes. Garrus looked over the flora and watched Tali run from the table and into the nearest shop. "Yep she's gone, we can move out now." Garrus hopped over the bush and signaled Shepard to follow. Shepard crawled through and sat next to Garrus. "Alright Garrus here's the plan. I'm going to distract Tali with my amazing actor skills, flirt a little and what not, while you get that filtration system with the money I gave you."

"Remind me again why we can't do this while Tali is on the Normandy?"

"Because Garrus she could come up while I'm installing it and I could be caught! And I have to install more than one so there's double the chance of getting caught. Plus this is a hell of a lot more fun than just doing it while she is on the Normandy."

"Good point." Garrus walked over the bridge, with Shepard following close behind. Shepard headed into the store that Tali had walked into. He saw her picking out several decorations from an old Turian holiday Garrus told them about. Slowly he crept ever so carefully, making sure she didn't see him. Then at the right moment, he grabbed by the waist and hoisted her in the air. She screamed for a moment until she saw who it was. Then she started hitting him demanding to be put down. All Shepard could do was laugh and drop her into his arms. "You know Tali this isn't the first time we've been in this position." He said with a wide grin on his face. "Oh can it you bosh 'Tet." She said, smacking him on the rear. "Don't scare me like that!" She said through her giggling. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Just browsing, thought about scaring you in public, maybe save the Galaxy again from the Shopping mall of doom!" He said in a mocking tone. She crossed her arms over her chest, although she was laughing at his joke. "I swear Shepard what am I going to do with you?"

"Maybe you can join me in my cabin Ms. Vas Normandy?"

"Hmm and what would you have me do in your cabin?" She said in a flirtatious tone. "Just the usual, risk your life and make me the luckiest Commander in the Galaxy." She purred at that last bit and got ever so closer to his chest. "Maybe we can test your luck now…" She said as she dragged her finger across his chest. Shepard glanced over at the entrance, seeing Garrus there standing with the filters he needed. "Yes, let's do that Miss Zorah." He carried her off the Citadel and to the Normandy.

4 hours later, Tali attached her helmet to her suit. She made sure all the seals were set and stood up. Arching her back, releasing all the tension from it, she proceeded down the elevator, and to the CIC. However she could barely stand up as she felt weak in the knees. 'Keelah he's still got it; I swear I will never get tired of getting sick.' Tali waltzed over to the air lock, checking her Omni tool to make sure her order had arrived. Satisfied, she opened the doors to be greeted by a volus merchant. "Hello, please sign here for the decorations." He handed her a data pad and pen. She signed it and handed it back to him. "Thank you for your time, alright boys bring it in!" He shouted. Box after box was carried in, filled to the brim with Christmas decorations, however almost none of them were actually meant for the holiday. Kelly gawked at all the stuff that was being taken down to the cargo hold. Tali smirked and walked over to the clearly shocked Chambers. "Am I good, or am I good?" She said, learning that expression from Shepard after he won a bet against Garrus in a fight against a Krogan. "But how…I mean what…." Kelly's jaw looked like it was about ready to fall off. "Tali, how did you manage to get all this Christmas stuff!?"

"It was simple really, most of it isn't Christmas decorations, they're decorations from holidays for all species." Kelly looked at Tali with confusion written on her face. "Look, I thought to myself, what to do if we don't have enough decorations. Then I realized, why not take decorations for other holidays, mix it in, and so everyone can celebrate with their own species traditional decorations for a Christmas! It's a Xeno-mas!" Tali proudly proclaimed. Kelly smiled at her friend and looked on. "Tali you really are one clever bosh 'Tet." Tali growled but laughed looks like she was rubbing off on her.


	4. Day 4: Christmas tree hunting

"Come on Grunt just move it to the left." Garrus watched as Zaeed and Grunt kept shifting the position of the tree. "Zaeed you are pushing it too far, just pull back a bit or it won't stay up."

"Oh shut up you Turian bastard and come help us out!" Zaeed shouted at him, barely holding up the massive tree. "Shepard said we had to get this thing up right, and we can't do that if we have no idea which way it's falling or if it's up right." Garrus explained. Zaeed grunted and pulled hard to the right. Grunt pulled left and then they pulled the clasps down. Garrus smiled and opened up his Omni tool. "Shepard, we got the tree up, I think you're going to want to see this."

"I'll be right down." A few moments later Shepard showed up in his leather jacket and approached Garrus with a smile. "Alright Garrus, where's the tree?" He asked looking around. "Right over there." Garrus pointed at the center of the cargo bay. There stood a massive tree, one that reached pretty high up. "I know Shepard, we got the job done." Garrus said with a smug smirk. Shepard just face palmed and sighed. "Garrus….why is there an oak tree in my cargo bay." He groaned. "What are you talking about Shepard; this is a Christmas tree, just like you asked."

"No Garrus this is an Elm tree, a common tree on Earth. Where did you even get it?"

"Well I may have dug it up from the Citadel gardens and snuck it on board…." Shepard really wanted to knock Garrus on his ass. "What the hell Garrus!? Who even told you that was an Oak tree?"

"Joker sent me a pictu-Oh you have got to be kidding me." Shepard glared at him with a deadpan look on his face. "You let Joker trick you into planting an oak tree." Garrus groaned in frustration. "You're never going to let me live this down are you Shepard…"

"Nope." Shepard said, laughing.

"Yeah yeah laugh it up; I'm going to go get a real tree." Garrus called over Grunt and Zaeed. "Here Garrus, to make your job easier here is a picture of a real Christmas tree." Shepard activated his Omni tool and sent a picture of a Christmas tree to him. "Alright there you go, now hurry up and get a tree Garrus, I'm counting on you." Shepard left Garrus, who banged his head on the wall for letting himself get fooled by Joker.

"Fresh Air, Happy people, flowers growing, I hate it." Grunt complained as Garrus dragged them to the flora area of the Citadel. "Alright look you two," He said addressing Grunt and Zaeed. "I need you two to help me find this." Garrus held up a picture of a Christmas tree. "It's located somewhere in this garden and we have to find it and dig it up." Stated Garrus. The Turian hopped off the platform and into the wild gardens of the Citadel. Garrus activated his Omni tool and placed a Vid call to Shepard. "Hey Shepard you there? I wanted to know if it was fine digging in the Citadel Gardens."

Shepard answered the call but he was busy ducking from stuff being thrown at him by a certain Quarian. "Yeah Garrus is its fine, but I don't know if you can tell but I'm a little busy dealing with my own problems right now." Shepard ducked as a pillow flew over his head. "YOU BOSH'TET HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME IN MY MOUTH!?" Garrus could hear barfing into a bucket as Shepard grimaced at what he was witnessing. "Tali I told you I was sorry! How was I supposed to know that's what your reaction would be?"

"JUST GET OVER HERE AND TAKE CARE OF ME IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH!" Shepard grumbled. "Delicate space flower my ass…."

"What was that?" Tali challenged.

"Oh nothing dear!" Shepard said quickly. "I'm going to kill you Shepard!" Tali shouted. "Oh come on Tali admit it, it at least tasted good right?" Tali pouted and crossed her arms. "I'm not admitting anything." Shepard smiled mischievously as she said that. "Oh so it did taste good, at least you'll soon adapt and get as much as you want." Shepard laughed as more stuff was thrown at him.

"Um Shepard I find the comedy act you two funny, but I would like to know if you want us to go digging up Citadel Gardens."

"I said it was okay Garrus, now if you don't mind I got a sick Quarian to take care of." A loud barfing noise was heard from the other side of the room. "Keelah I'm barfing more than when you're driving the Mako!" Garrus hung up after that, unable to contain his laughter anymore. Grunt pushed past him and looked around. "So…where is this Christmas tree?"

Garrus took a pause and wiped the equivalent of Turian tear from his eye. "Well Grunt that's what we're here for, to find it. Now let's get to work and locate it among all this foliage." Zaeed clarified. They started digging around with shovels, hoping they would find it soon.

* * *

Shepard grumbled as he brought in the tray of food ranging from Beef paste to Orange juice paste. 'I swear I will never try these things even if they weren't for dextrose. I bet they don't even taste like the real thing.' He walked into his cabin carrying the tray. "Hey Shepard! Thank you for bringing me breakfast in bed." Tali said, giggling as she watched her boyfriend scowl at her. Yeah she was mad at him earlier, but she had to admit it wasn't too bad. She knew she wanted to do this more often with him so that she could become more use to his….well-endowed body. She also secretly enjoyed being pampered like this, breakfast in bed, a foot massage; he was so nice to her. 'How did I get so lucky?' She thought in her head. Shepard laid the tray down on her lap and held his hands behind his back. "Anything else I can do princess?" He said through gritted teeth. She chuckled and then got an idea. "Well you could turn around and pick that data pad up for me." She pointed at a data pad behind Shepard that was lying haphazardly on the floor. "Huh, how did that get there? Oh well." Shepard bent over to grab the data pad. And now was Tali's real reason for asking him to do that. She purred at the view she was getting. Shepard had this unique way of bending over to pick up stuff. Unlike most men, who squat down and bend their knees to pick something up, Shepard just bends over while standing up and grabs it. Now this was something Tali could get used to. Hopefully nobody would pick up on her secret perverted side. "Mhmm." She purred. Shepard glanced back at her confused. "That was nothing Shepard just the meal I'm enjoying." She said with a smile that was hidden behind her visor. Luckily he didn't notice that she was blushing as red as a tomato out of embarrassment. "Okay?" He said, not sure what to think. He grabbed the data pad and plopped next to her on the mattress. Tali damned her shyness and her inability to just ask Shepard to show her what she wanted. She sighed and ate her beef paste.

"Tali, sorry again for making you vomit all over the place." He apologized. "Its fine Shepard, I'll live don't worry." She leaned over and tapped his forehead with her helmet LED/Speaker. He smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist. She gleefully embraced him, smiling up at him. He kissed her visor, than purposefully rubbed in the saliva all over her mask. "SHEPARD!" Tali smacked his hands away and immediately started scrubbing away at her now fogged up visor. "Why did you do that you Bosh 'tet?" She asked while he laughed in hysterics. She pouted at the edge of the bed, still trying to get rid of all the saliva on her mask so she could see clearly. "I'm sorry Tali!" He said in between laughs. "I just thought of that and I couldn't resist doing it." He kept on laughing at her fruitless attempts to clean all of it off. "I hate you." She said glaring at him. "I love you too sweetie." He said kissing the back of her neck. He grabbed a rag and helped her clean all the gunk off her mask. "And there you go, clean and pristine. I even added some shoe polish so that it sparkles." He said with a massive grin. She just sighed and cuddled up against him. "You know I think I'll start calling you Tali'Zorah Vas Sparkles." He said with a mischievous grin. "You better not!" She cried. "What's wrong Miss Vas Sparkles? Don't like your name?" He said rolling around on the bed, breathless from laughter. This time Tali hit his arm and scooted away from him. "Geez Tali you're so easy to tease." He said, still chuckling a bit. "Oh yeah? Says the "expert" mako driver." She said, her words dripping with sarcasm. "Hey you take that back!"

"Make me." She said with a sly grin under her mask. Shepard got on top of her and started messing with her helmet. "Hey, Shepard, what are you doing!?" Immediately a message on her visor appeared saying, Nerve-Stim Pro Deluxe activated. "Shepard, Shepard no!" She cried, but it was too late. The program activated and Shepard got a maniacal look on his face. "So Miss Vas Normandy, are you as ticklish as I think you are?" Tali saw where Shepard was going with this, but was too weak to shove him off. He quickly began tickling all over her suit, making sure he didn't miss an inch of her body. Tali broke out in a loud and energetic laugh. "Shepard HAHAHA please stop! HAHAHA! I take it back, I take it back!" She cried out. Shepard, with a smug smile on his face got off of her and crossed his arms over his chest. "Don't give me that look; it makes you look like a Vorcha." She said in a scolding tone. "Give me a break you love this look. Well when it's done to other people anyway." He said, refusing to let the smile leave his face. "Yeah yeah." She said while pushing his face away. Shepard reached out his arms and cuddled her again, still smiling. At this point Tali gave in and rested her head in his chest. They stayed like that for what felt like hours, the seconds just ticking by.

* * *

Garrus kept searching with his visor with no luck. They had not spotted a single tree for about an hour now. There were no Christmas trees in sight. He sighed and rested on his shovel. "Hey did either of you spot a Christmas tree yet!?" He shouted back at his teammates. "I haven't seen one!" Grunt shouted back.

"Neither have I!" Shouted Zaeed. 'Damn it, where could one be.' Garrus thought to himself. Garrus groaned and gave the area a look around. Where the hell are you supposed to find a Christmas tree? That's when he saw it, low and behold, under the sight of whoever was up there, was a lone Christmas tree. "Guys! Grunt, Zaeed! I found one!" He ran over to it and started digging. Soon the other two joined him and they dug around the base of the tree. It took them around 15 minutes to reach the base of the tree, and start pulling it out. Garrus smiled as their job was almost done. He then felt someone tap on his shoulder as he turned around to see a C-sec officer. "Excuse me sir but what are you doing?" The officer said unamused. "Oh nothing officer, just um redecorating the gardens, no big deal." Garrus lied. The officer looked at him suspiciously and then at Grunt and Zaeed. "Uh huh, so where's your license and permit?"

"License….?"

"Surely if you really were commissioned to do this, the council would have given you a permit and an official license." He said looking at Garrus with an uncaring look. Garrus had nothing to say. What could he say? "Well you see….umm…the council forgot to give us our permit and so we have to dig without one."

"Yeah right, come on you three are coming with me." The officer began arresting the 3. "No! In honor of my battle master I will not go down for this, he demands a Christmas tree and he will get one!" Grunt shouted, ready to rip apart the officer. "Grunt calm down! Let's just go with the officer WITHOUT causing an incident." Garrus said. Grunt grumbled to himself as the trio was dragged away to the station.

Captain Bailey was not in a good mood. A simple thief had managed to elude his officers, he had coffee dripping down from his head, whip cream spewing from the fridge, and why? Because they had arrested a Quarian for violating C-sec protocols of making sure his suit wasn't emitting any hazardous gases. You can never be too sure with enviro-suits, with all the old models that used to emit radiation; they just had to be sure. Now he had to deal with a Turian, a Krogan, and a human, all three digging up the Citadel gardens AND where members of Shepard's crew. "Look, right now, all I want to know is why. Why were you digging up the gardens? Why were you stealing a tree?" He asked with a deadpan expression on his face. The Turian smiled nervously and looked up at the Captain. "Well you see….we were umm-"

"We were trying to retrieve a Christmas tree for Shepard." Grunt interrupted. Captain Bailey sat down and just stared in awe of their idiocy. "If you wanted a Christmas tree why didn't you just go buy a plastic one? They have some for a limited time right now at the presidium commons. Or why not get a holo of one? There were so many other options, but instead you decided to come here and dig up a tree instead." Bailey held his face in his hands, knowing their jaws were practically on the floor at this point. "Look, I'll give you the cash to go get a tree, just go get it and not bother me right now." Bailey transferred the credits to Garrus' account. The trio immediately left. "You know Garrus, I always thought I wasn't that smart, but today you proved that you're even dumber than I am." Grunt said with a teasing smile. "Shut up Grunt…" Garrus grumbled. "Let's just go get that tree and get out." They left for the warehouse.

Garrus led the tree through the cargo opening and into the bay itself. They pushed the tree up and up, until it stood completely up and reached the roof. It cost them a lot of credits to get a tree this big, but it was worth it. Garrus smiled and put his arms around Grunt and Zaeed. "Well we did it, it took all day but it got done." Garrus put the clamps down and smiled. "Grunt go get Shepard. He'll want to see this." Grunt walked off as Garrus sat down on a pile of crates. Ten minutes later Grunt came back, wide eyed and shaking. "Grunt you okay?"

"Quarians….sickness….Shepard….sticky….goo everywhere…my eyes…." Grunt ran off when he finished. "Grunt wait! What did you mean by that!?" Garrus chased after him, unknowing of what he saw. He followed him into Grunts room and saw Grunt hiding in his tank. "Grunt? You okay?" Garrus asked with genuine concern. "Go away….I'm going to take a nap." Garrus shook his head and walked back. "Okay? I guess I'll just call him." Garrus activated his Omni tool, opening to the Vid Call program. He waited while the dial tone played. He tapped his foot impatiently. Shepard finally answered, but he was a mess. His hair was all over the place instead of his normal spiked bangs, he looked tired and disheveled. He yawned and glared at Garrus. "What the hell do you want Garrus?"

"Sorry to wake you up sweetie," Garrus said sarcastically. "But I need you to come down and see this, we got the tree." Shepard had a deadpan expression on his face. "Garrus can't it wait? I'm a little busy." He said crankily. "Shepard? Who is it?" A very tired Tali asked off screen. "It's nothing Tali, just Garrus."

"Oh that Bosh'tet, I'm going back to sleep." She rolled over and snored once more. "Look Garrus I'll come down and look, but I better be impressed."

"Don't worry Shepard; I think you're going to love this." Shepard groaned and ended the call. 6 minutes later, Shepard came out of the elevator in his shirt and jeans, looking like he just got out of bed. "Alright Garrus what is it?"

"See for yourself." Garrus stepped out of the way and revealed the tree. Shepard stared up in awe of the tree. It was huge! Shepard placed his hand on the trunk and smiled. "You really out did yourself Garrus." He said smiling. "Well I try my best." He said with the Turian equivalent of a smile. "Thanks Garrus, I hope it was worth the trouble."

"I don't know about that." Garrus said with fake modesty. "Come on Garrus, how would you like me to treat you to Purgatory?"

Garrus laughed. "I thought you would you never ask." They locked arms and walked out of the Normandy, practically skipping to the Purgatory bar.


	5. Day 5: Shore Leave part 1

**You know guys I realized something; I'm not as good as I used to be. I mean I still make good stories, but I feel like my actual way of telling the story is off. I just think I'm out of practice. Don't worry though, this site is great for practicing and I plan on getting better and better. Now enjoy chapter 5.**

Shepard brushed his teeth, the mint toothpaste burning his tongue. Tali was beside him, cleaning her helmet, filtering out the old Anti-biotics, and removing gunk from her helmet. Shepard activated his Omni-blade and used it to shave his face. "You know Shepard; most people just use a normal razor." Tali said jokingly. "Yeah but I'm not most people am I?" He replied. "No, no you're not. For one thing most people aren't dating a Quarian." She said, giggling beneath her helmet. "True." He said with a smile, while also applying shaving gel. They finished their morning rituals and left the bathroom. The fish tank glowed in contrast to the more shadowed room. Shepard and Tali walked to the elevator and pressed the button for deck 3. As they headed down, Shepard glanced back at his girlfriends…ample areas. Tali noticed this and smiled playfully. "As you humans say, like what you see?" Shepard blushed and stared forward. "I have no idea as to what you're talking about."

"Sure you don't, that's as convincing as Miranda's breasts." Shepard gasped in playful shock at that comment. "Tali!" He said in a mock shout. "Oh please we all think that." She said laughing. Shepard just shook his head as the elevator doors opened. The light from the deck nearly blinded Shepard, as everyone was bustling about. Garrus was eating with Mordin, Grunt and Zaeed were discussing weaponry and telling stories, Kasumi and Jack were arm wrestling, everyone was busy with something. Garrus looked over and his mandibles lifted into a turian smile. "Well if it isn't the ships main couple."

"I wouldn't say that Garrus, after all Tali and I don't want to take the spot light from you and Grunt." Shepard joked. They laughed as Shepard and Tali sat across from Garrus and Mordin. "Gardner! Mind fixing up the usual for me?"

"Could you also make me some of that Burger nutrient paste I like?" Tali asked. "Coming up you two!" Gardner immediately got to work as all the non-essential personal went back to their stations. "So Mordin, did you get those analysis' I wanted?" Shepard asked the Doctor. A smile spread across Mordin's face and his eyes lit up like Christmas lights. "Certainly Shepard, never fail to disappoint." Mordin activated a data pad and handed it to Shepard. "Just like you asked, it's all there for you to see." Mordin looked rather pleased with himself as Shepard scanned it. Shepard looked excited, handing it back to Mordin. "Mordin this is great! Send me a copy right away."

"Certainly, good day you three." Mordin got up and walked to the elevator and back to his lab. Garrus had a look of confusion on his face, he watched as Shepard was nearly ready to jump out of his seat. "Um Shepard what was that about?" Shepard smiled and got up on top of the table. "Everyone I have an announcement to make." Everyone turned to the commander, who had a very large, very eager smile on his face. "Now I know we've been busy, Tali buying so many decorations, Garrus nearly killing himself getting a tree, and meeting Santa." They all nodded in agreement and kept listening. "So I thought we could use some R&R. We're going to have some time off to just unwind." Shepard sighed happily. "So any questions?" The room was silent, as Garrus raised his hand. "Yes Garrus?" Shepard pointed at him.

"Yeah can it wait? I got some cali-"

"No Garrus! You cannot go make some calibrations." Shepard pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "I swear to god there is always some calibration." Shepard shook his head and looked up. Everyone had raised their hands to ask a question. "Alright any questions that do not end with, can it wait, I got some work, cleaning, meditation, or anything that doesn't pertain to relaxing?" Everyone put their hands down. Shepard face palmed and sighed. "Okay, I guess you all don't want to go to the Citadel Sauna now do you?" Shepard held up a brochure that had a picture of a rather large facility. At that everyone jumped out of their seats and nearly trampled Shepard trying to look at it. Shepard pushed everyone off of him and brushed himself off. "Geez guys calm down. Now we're going there to relax, after that we're going to go to the Amusement park, then a Museum," Several members groaned as the words left Shepard's lips. He glared at them, not appreciating their attitude. "If you would let me finish, it has a new wing dedicated to our exploits, they said it won't be complete for a while, but they are letting visitors see the portions they do have finished, on the condition they don't mess with construction." The crew perked up at that and silently discussed it amongst themselves. "We have a long day ahead of us, so let's go! Shepard jumped off the table and headed to the elevator. He closed his eyes and then was promptly slammed against the wall of the elevator. The whole crew had piled in at once. He sighed, wondering if he had made a mistake. Once the elevator reached deck 2, everyone ran out, through the air lock, and into the outside of the ship. Shepard groaned this was going to be a long day.

Shepard led his crew through the crowds, trying to keep them from trampling and running over everyone. The light shined through the glass windows, landing on the side of his face. The metal glistening from the beams. Normally he would take the time to appreciate the beauty that surrounded him, but now wasn't one of those normal times; he was too busy keeping a Krogan from stealing a bunch of banana's. "GRUNT I SAID NO BANANAS!" 

"Shepard, bananas make me a stronger warrior, they make me better than all krogan! That and they taste amazing."

"Fine but at least buy them legally." Shepard groaned again, he was starting to regret this decision. Finally they reached the spa and sauna. Its sign glowed brightly, The Flotilla Sauna was written on it. "Alright everyone wait out here while I sign us in, Samara you're in charge." Shepard walked inside before anyone could say anything, and proceeded to the register. He checked over the counter but no one was there, not a single soul. "Hello? Anyone there?" He called. "JUST A MINUTE!" Someone yelled back in a synthesized voice. Shepard shrugged and sat down in one of the waiting chairs, this gave him the chance to actually get a look around of the room. It had plain gray metal walls, but there were decorations plastering them. They were ranging from photos of Quarians on the flotilla, to Krogan on the battlefield. Then he saw one photo that really got his attention. It was one of him and Tali when they were visiting the Citadel. He got up and walked over to the picture, getting a closer look at it. It appeared to be that it was when he tried to pose for a fan photo. He smiled and recalled what happened.

_"Ooh Shepard! Look they installed a new fountain! And it has fish!" Tali squealed with glee. Shepard just smiled and shook his head at Tali's excitement. They had been here for only five minutes and she was already checking out everything that has changed on the Citadel. He tried to keep up with Tali but she was busy checking out all the new technology the Citadel had to offer. "Shepard look! They even have gerbils! And they're so cute!" She pressed her visor against the glass and just watched the rodents scurry about in their environments. _

_ Okay maybe not…Shepard jogged over to her and leaned over to get a look. There were three gerbils in the tank, a black one with red stripes, an orange one with a tan spot on its back, and a white one. _

_ He smiled and just stared at her, watching her faun over the little cute animals. He felt someone tap his shoulder and turned around. There stood a teenage boy; around 5'2, red hair, brown eyes, and he had a big smile on his face. "Oh my god are you Commander Shepard!?" He smiled and squatted down. "Is there any other?" He said with a cocky smile. "I'm a huge fan of you sir! If you don't mind, can I take a photo?" He said hopefully. Shepard nodded and stood up. The boy's grin grew wider, as if the smile itself was bigger than his face. "Your friend can also be in the picture if she wants Commander." _

_Shepard turned to retrieve Tali and saw that she was covered in gerbils. "Shepard! These things got of their cages; it may or may not be my fault, but their swarming me!" The Commander said nothing as he laughed at the sheer silliness of what was happening. Suddenly there was a clicking noise and the photo was taken. Shepard had asked for his own copy, and the photo was posted on the extranet._

"You like that photo? I got it off the extranet." Shepard turned around and there stood a female Quarian, she was very tall, she had a red faceplate, with a very slim figure, gold trimming around her hood, and two blue stripes down her torso. "Oh yeah I do, especially since it's one of me." He said with a smile on his face. "You must be Commander Shepard then, you're appointment is scheduled for," The lady checked her Omni tool and schedule. "Right now."

An employee led them down to the room where the saunas were kept. The walls were made of wood and there were ten rooms. She led them to two doors which stood side by side. "Everyone to the door on the right, and wear these towels please. You may change into them in the changing room over there." She explained pointing to the door on the far left. "Shepard as you requested, you get one extra room suited for Quarians." She turned to Tali and smiled under her mask. "You're lucky to have such a thoughtful captain leading you." She said as she looked Shepard over. "And not a bad looking one at that." She said under breath and walked away. Tali was really tempted to hiss at her, but she just decided to hack her computer later. "Gee I wonder why Shepard wanted a sauna room alone with Tali." Jacob said rolling his eyes jokingly. "Hey! Tali needs a special room due to her Quarian immune system. As her captain I must acc-"

"You just want to see her naked again don't you."

"Yeah…." Shepard admitted.

"Not that I mind." Tali said winking. She giggled and grabbed a towel. "You coming my captain?" She said flirtatiously.

Garrus leaned over and whispered in Kasumi's ear, "She's getting braver isn't she?"

"Well she is trying to be sexy for Shepard, she's doing that quite well….that is until he leaves the room then she becomes a puddle of love goop." She says jokingly.

"I can hear you, you know." Shepard said glaring at them.

"We know." The two said simultaneously. Shepard just rolled his eyes and grabbed his towel. Everyone changed and entered the Sauna rooms.

Shepard sat comfortably on the bench in the room. It was a simple room that was styled to look like it was made of wood, but was really made of metal. The benches seemed to be made of a soft material that was made of something that Shepard couldn't name. In the center was a series of tubes that were made to shoot off steam. He was already stripped and in a towel, he was just waiting for Tali.

Meanwhile Tali was attempting to change out of her suit. 'Its easy Tali, you can do this just….damn it how do humans even do this!?' Tali tried hopelessly to wrap the towel around her. "Keelah this is impossible!" She threw it down in frustration and crossed her arms. Give her a broken T-9K11 and she could make it go faster than a Salarian STG stealth ship, but give her a towel and she was worse at putting it on than Grunt and math. She sighed and tried again. She wrapped it around her waist, and then brings it up over her breasts and….she gets confused and gives up. Then she got an idea. She grabbed the towel, wrapped it around her back, and then just held it in front of her boobs. "Perfect." She said unconvinced.

She shifted her waist and tried to make herself look sexy. Trying different poses in which to walk in with. She was so glad Kasumi spent two hours teaching her this; she could final put it to good use. She took a deep breath, walked in biting her lower lip…and that's when her towel fell off.

Garrus sighed in relaxation and let the steam take over, placing his arms behind his head. The crew was in a very large room and the steam was pumping in. He swore he thought it wouldn't relax him, but to his pleasant surprise, the steam seamed to seep into his plates. Thane seemed to enjoy it the most, the water hydrating his arid lungs. Even Grunt was enjoying it, the steam relaxing his muscles. Everyone seemed to just be in peace. "Ah there's only one thing that can make this better," Zaeed said, as he grabbed his towel and ripped it off, revealing his well….endowed body. The crew jumped at backed away from his naked form. "WHAT THE HELL ZAEED!?" Miranda shouted. "What? It's not like we haven't seen each other in the showers, well the guys have seen the guys and the girls have seen the girls."

"Yeah but not everyone wants to see your…admittedly well-endowed body. It's just indecent." Kasumi stated.

"Why should that matter? We all know what Shepard and Tali are more than likely doing back there, so why should it matter if we just leave our towels off?"

"But they're a couple, of course their going to be doing that."

"And don't we know each another well enough and are comrades enough to not be bothered by it?" They all looked at each other, thinking it over. "Hmm I see no problem with that." Samara removed her towel and sat down next to Zaeed. Grunt threw his off next, and soon they all threw their towels off and sat down on the benches. "Oh my god Zaeed you had the right idea, this is fucking amazing." Jack said, moaning with pleasure.

"I must say even I don't mind this one bit." Miranda said her eyes closed.

"You know Zaeed; this was one hell of a good idea." Garrus said, letting his muscles relax. His eyes closed and he let the steam take him away.

Tali could not describe the color of her face. All she knew it was some form of deep deep red. She was blushing hard, almost as much when Shepard first kissed her visor. She covered her face and curled up. She could also hear Shepard holding back a laugh at her shyness. He wrapped his strong arms around her body and held her close to him. "Hey don't be so shy Tali, not like I haven't seen you like this before." He said with a genuine smile.

"I know but that doesn't make it any less embarrassing!" She said her face still in her hands. Shepard cradled her and rested her head against his chest. "You know, you're really adorable when you blush." He cooed. She looked up at him shyly. "Really?"

"Yeah really." He said smiling. "Now come here." He pulled her into a playful kiss, now she was on top of him. She kissed back, her arms wrapping around him. Her boyfriend, her human boyfriend. 'He He, dad would have hated him.' She thought to herself. 'Then again I don't care.' She laid her head in the crook of his neck, her finger tracing down his torso. "Tali?"

"Yes Shepard?" She purred relishing herself in the beautiful moment they were having. "Is it ethically right to have sex with a zombie?" And then the moment was gone…

Shepard paid the receptionist and led his crew out of the spa, although they were all grumpy from having to leave. "Alright guys what do you want to do next? We can go to the Citadel Amusement park, the Arcade, steak house, beautiful gar-"

"HOME!" Everyone except Tali yelled. "What? Why do you want to go back to the Normandy?" Shepard asked confused. "It's only like three and we got plenty of time."

"Sorry Shepard but we are exhausted. That Sauna really takes the energy out of you." Miranda said.

"But…but I had the whole day planned…"

"Nope, sorry Commander but I just want to go back to the Normandy and take a nap." Jacob said yawning

Shepard grumbled and crossed his arms. "Fine." Shepard put an arm around Tali and the crew walked back to the Normandy.

** Sorry guys for not getting this out sooner! I went on vacation and my schedule got all screwed up and yeah….sorry. Don't worry I'm back and here is a new chapter in the story of Normandy's first Christmas.**


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